Monday, August 23, 2010
In the dark
The past few days have been a little interesting. I have been doing well and feeling fine other than being extremely tired. I titled this post in the dark because I feel that way anymore. I am still not sure what I want to do with my life and where I wish to end up. There are so many possibilities that are out there its too hard to pick sometimes. Because I cannot see any one of them clearly its feels like the lights are off and I am bumping into things around the room. This has not had a wondrous effect on my work ethic as its hard to get up when you don't know what you are getting up for. Between that and some serious anxiety (no attacks just the feeling of it all the time) I end up very fatigued and cannot wake up in the morning. I feel good much of the day and I am able to relax sometimes but there are other times where I force myself to have a little fun and chill out. I am going to be working hard on meditating and focusing my mind the next few weeks to be able to cope with this. I need better strategies so I will be swimming again and trying to keep "office time" at the minimum that is reasonable. I need more tasks that take me elsewhere on campus to see a different landscape and help me free my soul. No one reading this worry, I am fine just trying to vent for myself and convince myself to do something about it.