Monday, August 23, 2010

In the dark

The past few days have been a little interesting. I have been doing well and feeling fine other than being extremely tired. I titled this post in the dark because I feel that way anymore. I am still not sure what I want to do with my life and where I wish to end up. There are so many possibilities that are out there its too hard to pick sometimes. Because I cannot see any one of them clearly its feels like the lights are off and I am bumping into things around the room. This has not had a wondrous effect on my work ethic as its hard to get up when you don't know what you are getting up for. Between that and some serious anxiety (no attacks just the feeling of it all the time) I end up very fatigued and cannot wake up in the morning. I feel good much of the day and I am able to relax sometimes but there are other times where I force myself to have a little fun and chill out. I am going to be working hard on meditating and focusing my mind the next few weeks to be able to cope with this. I need better strategies so I will be swimming again and trying to keep "office time" at the minimum that is reasonable. I need more tasks that take me elsewhere on campus to see a different landscape and help me free my soul. No one reading this worry, I am fine just trying to vent for myself and convince myself to do something about it.

Friday, April 30, 2010

A bunch of randomness

Well I need to start typing something so I guess I will start with anything that comes to mind. Right now I am upgrading 3 machines. My mac and two linux boxes. Sad thing is the new version of finkcommander on the mac isn't helping me. I upgraded Fink and tried compiling the newest versions of emacs and python but because of bad dependancies and my apathy of hacking the patches I have failed to install anything. I guess it doesn't make that much of a difference but its still kind of annoying. I did not realize that yesterday was the release date for Ubuntu 10.04 LTS. I am upgrading wupatki to that OS now and given the UA internet connection I should be able to download the update in about 20 minutes (1.2 GB) but due to Canonical's servers being inundated its going to take most of the day. I would think that I would learn to not upgrade on release day but I guess I did wait ONE day. Last time it took 3 days to download the update. It looks pretty sweet from the screenshots I have seen.

Today I am going to help some students and finalize my first paper. I am soooooo proud of myself for this paper. I have done almost everything myself. Yes I have received guidance and help on my thinking but not any help doing. Its kind of nice to be able to say, "THIS IS MY WORK!" Its been a lot of crazy hours thinking and doing but now its finally getting to the point where I see the end. There are a lot of things I want to play with and finalize while the paper is in collaborators hands but none of this will affect the results just tighten up a few things to make ME more confident I did it right. Well I should probably work on it rather than blab on here. Wrapping up post for now. Hopefully I will be writing more and more in the coming months.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Well this is off to a slow start

I haven't been writing much on here but I plan to be better. Currently I am working on a letter of recommendation and my first paper itself. I find that I sit and stare at the screen a lot and then start clicking on other things that need my attention rather than working on things I should. I need to uninstall all web browsers to completely disconnect myself from the world some days. I do find it fascinating to be caught up in local, national, and world news at the moment. I like working at the computer some days but others its hard to want to look at the screen since my eyes got fraked up last semester. I need to learn to type better since I know where most of the keys are but I cannot seems to spell when I am not looking at the keyboard. I should probably learn the correct places to put my fingers as well and learn to type faster as well. Maybe that will be my goal after I start going to the gym again. So far so good since the coffee stopped. I think its was the root of many problems I have been suffering from .

I know the above post was pretty random but it was meant to literally be a start to writing and get the juices flowing without looking at the keys as I was typing. GOOD DAY MY FRIENDS :)

Monday, January 25, 2010

Things I learned today

I will be self affirmative in the morning and start the day off right.
I will DO rather than think.
I will make a list of strengths and weaknesses
I will be positive and feed the Wayne part of me.